Kirkland Tiberius Syntherius Moany Pony Ciccone’s punk fuelled storytelling events and his idiosyncratic take on the YA genre have both helped him take the Teen Reads Scene by storm since his first novel in 2013. He is now highly in demand for live apperances at libraries/festivals/schools. His books appeal to the freaks, geeks, punks, skaters, weirdos, and wacky folk as well as their parents. But who is Kirkland Ciccone?
The true story can finally be told:
Kirkland Ciccone was born into royalty and immediately given up for adoption, much to his annoyance. Kirklegend Ciccone – to give him his correct title – was handed over to a working class family, thus becoming the second youngest of five siblings. One of them is a social worker and another is an armed robber. Kirkland trained as a journalist but his lecturer wasn’t convinced, which may have had something to do with Kirkland’s funky roller skates. “I don’t see you out on the street,” he remarked. “I don’t see myself out on the street either,” Kirkland cackled gleefully, “I see myself in a penthouse!”
Kirkland scribbled stories, visions, ideas until eventually he mustered up the courage to perform these tales in cool live venues across Scotland. He has written for cool online ‘zines like This Is Fake DIY, Neu Magazine, and Subba Cultcha among others. He also briefly worked as a psychic adviser but soon quit due to headaches. Terry Wogan mentioned one of Kirkland’s shows on morning radio, which in turn boosted his ticket sales. Hurrah! Despite this remarkable announcement, Kirkland didn’t manage his rise to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills lifestyle he sought and is still hanging out with the Beverly Hillbillies instead. Oh well. His past shows have included In Bed With Kirkland Ciccone, Kirkland Ciccone Plays Pop, The A-Z Of Kirkland Ciccone, and The Dead Don’t Sue. The truth is Kirkland was born and raised in Cumbernauld, a town consistently voted Most Dismal Town In Scotland, with the Ugliest Building In Britain. A town so ugly that it won the coveted Carbuncle Award more than one year in a row. But Kirkland couldn’t have come from anywhere else, could he?
His live storytelling soon attracted the attention of quality small press Strident Publishing. His debut novel is Conjuring The Infinite. It is a dark tale of madness, magick, and murder. Each page, according to the man himself, is “soaked in blood and Irn-Bru” – whatever that means.
His second novel is titled Endless Empress. It is bloody weird and you shouldn’t read it because you’ll freak out with the weirdness!
Kirkland’s third novel for Strident Publishing is called North of Porter. It’s about a teenage boy (with a Dolce & Gabbana handbag) who takes on a serial killer in a small town. It isn’t based on Kirkland’s actual life.
Okay, so Kirkland wasn’t born into royalty but pretty much everything else in the bio above is accurate. Yes, in Kirkland’s case…the truth is far stranger than fiction.
Kirkland is punk rock not disco but he sometimes dresses a bit disco.
Kirkland in The Big Issue.
Author Confessions with Kirkland Ciccone.
How I Became Kirkland Ciccone on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure.