I’ve decided to draft up some important rules to live my life by. I will read and learn these rules until I can recite them mindlessly. I honestly believe they’ll improve my life and yours too if you choose to follow them.
Kirkland Ciccone’s Golden Rules
I will be amazing even when I’m exhausted.
I will write amazing novels until my fingers cramp.
I will never write a paranormal romance book.
I won’t be seen wearing a tracksuit.
I will tour and promote my novels in any venue that will have me except from pubs and portacabins. I have to draw a line somewhere!
My characters will be strong and memorable – they will not be bimbo girls desperate for boyfriends.
I will never ever dye my hair red. My hair turned pink the last time I dyed it.
I will never be boring even when I’m sitting at home drinking tea.
I will never eat McVities Digestive biscuits. We all know Digestives are the most boring biscuit in the world. McVities Ginger Nuts are hip, Digestives are shit!
I will promote my favourite writers and their work.
I will never wear real fur.
I won’t eat red meat.
If I’m to follow the latest trends in the YA market, I’ll find a way to subvert them.
I won’t shave my hair off because I look like a grumpy Humpty Dumpty.
I will continue to read two books every week. I’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction.
I will drop Donna Noble (my favourite Doctor Who companion) into discussions whenever I get a chance.
I will try my best to compose my new work with pen and paper before typing it.
But it’s important to embrace new technology and new social media to promote myself.
I will appear at one gig in my roller skates but one is enough because I don’t want to fall and land on my coccyx. The coccyx (for your information) is a bone in the spine!
I will hunt out new bands to compliment my favourites so I have some decent songs to listen to whilst I type. Rhythm is important to my fingers!